Serendipity

It’s been a while hasn’t it. After my last post I was put in a state of confusion again. What do I do? Am I even doing things right? Am I going to be okay? After some time to think and just calm my mind I remembered to just take every opportunity as it came and I had to see that my current situation was just an opportunity.

For the past 5 month’s I’ve worked with a surrounding team that helped me regulate back into society after having worked alone for 8 years. It was definitely a time needed but recently I was placed at another location by myself. I’m spending 8 hours by myself in thought. Surrounded by no one except for the occasion people here and there but no real interaction. I thought old habits I had were going to erupt. I was going to be the person I put away 5 months ago when I started this new journey.

Surprisingly, it’s been great. I’ve found a love for learning again. I love listening to education podcast. I listen to hours of podcast learning about new and different topics, perspectives and ideas. I’ve also learned to enjoy these thoughts that I have. They’ve been much kinder to me than recent years. I’m no longer scared to be alone with my thoughts. It’s been a great experience. I’ve even thought about going back “home”. Feeling as if I’m ready to establish a proper life for myself.

My mentality has become something I can be proud of. I find myself more and more looking to the positive aspects of my life and appreciating everything I have and am. I no longer shy away from the societal standards that exist, not having money, fame, power. Rather just don’t care anymore. For every person I know that seeks money, fame and power, they also live with unhappiness and loveless. I am happy and loved. For those that want to see me fall, I am already at the bottom, happy and proud. As I climb my own ladder of happiness, no one will see because they see what they want to see.

Today’s post is for all of you that are hurt, and struggle daily with people who wait for your demise. Be damn proud of how far you’ve come. How strong you are to still be standing when all the odds were against you. Remember, money, fame and power isn’t a bad thing to seek but there must be a balance between money, fame, power, love and happiness. Limitations to what your willing to do and how you do it. I’ve sold my soul once, only to receive an illusion of a life that I wanted. Took me years to have the life I have. I’ll never be rich, or powerful, but I’m happy and I’ll never stop my dreams of providing a better life for myself and those I love.