Serendipity

People who know me for who I am now often times weren’t people who knew me for who I was and those who knew me, are unaware of who I became.

The truth is, who i was and who I am are still very much so the same person. The only difference is in between who I was and who I am, was a journey that would create unbearable truth that would reshape the way I saw myself, saw the world and saw life.

Perception was the only factor that would change. With the change of perception also came the change of emotional state and awareness. For much of my younger years, I now could see how selfish I had led my life. For all the sacrifices I had made or for all the hard work I had put in, it was all selfishly driven. A subconscious agenda to a goal that was mine and that of my own.

I realize now that there is no good and bad, simply those blinded by a dream or a vision. Everyone has the ability to be good and bad, for what it truly is, is just a perception of a moment. The perception we see of others allows us to label them as good and bad.

Who I was, was someone who needed to be seen. Someone desperately trying to create something I could feel apart of. Who I was, was a boy who was given a little power, the most he had ever felt, and abused that power.

Who I am is someone who lives in repentance, someone who understands his failures and mistakes, and uses them as a means of guidance and teachings so that others may not fail as hard as I did. Who I am is a man who loves those that I love unconditionally and seek to live my life the best I can in betterment of those around me. I am who I am because of who I was but with my hardships and tales, the dreams I chase and the visions I see are for those who have made sacrifices in there lives to give me better.

I am filled with purpose but this purpose is ever growing. The last 10 years of my life have taught me to love, forgive and to see what I couldn’t. I’m 31 today, and as I wrote this post, I was filled with anguish for all the things I had done in my life to hurt those around me. I do not seek for forgiveness as forgiveness is too much to ask for the hurt I had caused. What I hope is that you are well and happy. If we ever were to cross paths I hope that who I am is able to give you peace for who I was and the wrongs I had committed.