Serendipity

It’s been a long time since I’ve come onto SerendipityMind to write.

It wasn’t that I didn’t have the time. I just couldn’t produce anything I felt was worth your time to read. I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time, so I stopped.

From the last time I’ve written until now, a lot has changed in my life. Some for the better and some for the worse. But looking back, I think a lot of it was necessary.

Six months ago, I made the decision to lose weight and become as healthy as I possibly could.

I’ve always struggled with my health, and over the years, my mental state had deteriorated drastically. I had reached a point in my life where I knew something needed to change.

When I first started this journey, I was at the heaviest I had ever been. I weighed 322 pounds.

As of today, I am proud to say that I am 249 pounds.

73 pounds gone.

But this isn’t the end. Far from it.

Somewhere along the way, I found myself falling in love with the gym. Something I never thought I’d say. What started as a decision to become healthier turned into something much more meaningful.

Through the gym, I’ve met people who have become brothers in my life. People who push me to become better, not just physically, but mentally as well.

And for that, I am grateful.

But my health wasn’t the only thing that needed to change.

I’ve also made the decision to walk away from pursuing my creative passions as a means to provide.

For most of my life, I’ve worked in the creative field. I’ve always considered myself a storyteller, and I don’t think that will ever change. But somewhere over the years, something I once loved became something I felt obligated to do.

Creativity was no longer just about creating. It became about making a living, providing for the people I love, and trying to turn every idea into something that could sustain us.

I don’t regret those years. They’ve taught me more than I could ever explain. But I’ve come to realize that just because you’re passionate about something doesn’t mean it has to become your career.

And just because you walk away from something doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

My life has changed in ways I never expected, both good and bad. And with those changes came the realization that I no longer wanted to carry the responsibility of making my creativity a means to provide.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I can breathe again.

I can write because I want to write. I can create because I want to create. Without the pressure of having to turn it into something more.

Maybe that’s what I’ve been missing all these years.

The freedom to simply enjoy the things I love without feeling obligated to make something out of them.

I’m excited about what is to come.

I’ve let go of people and things that no longer serve a purpose in my life. Not necessarily because they were bad, but because I’ve come to understand that not everything and everyone is meant to follow us into the next chapter.

I’ve also taken on the responsibility of learning to love and respect myself a little more.

Something I should have done a long time ago.

But I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am today without the people who stood beside me.

To my wife, thank you for standing by my side through some of my worst times. You’ve seen me at my lowest, and despite everything, you’ve continued to stand beside me.

To my family, thank you for helping me get back on my feet when I needed it most.

To my brother-in-law, Ryan. I see a father and a man who refuses to let his child and partner drown. Someone who, despite his responsibilities, still finds time in his day to work on himself. You continue to push me to become better every day, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for the man you are.

And finally, to my brother, my friend, An.

You picked me up and guided me through some of my worst times. You got me into the gym, helped me take my health seriously, and pushed me to become someone I could be proud of again.

Because of you, I’m healthier and feeling better than I have in a very long time.

I know this isn’t the end of my journey. It’s only the beginning of so much more.

To all of you, thank you for teaching me that change, although scary, is sometimes necessary. Thank you for reminding me that I don’t have to figure everything out on my own and that with love and guidance, I’d be okay.

For so long, I felt that everything I did needed to have a purpose beyond myself. That the things I loved needed to provide something, accomplish something, or become something.

But I’m beginning to understand that not everything needs to be that way.

Sometimes, it’s okay to do something simply because it makes you happy.

Sometimes, it’s okay to walk away from something you’ve spent years building.

And sometimes, it’s okay to choose yourself.

I don’t know exactly what the next chapter of my life will look like, and for once, I’m okay with that.

I’m still a storyteller. I’m still someone who wants to learn, grow, and create.

The difference is that I no longer feel obligated to turn those things into a living.

For the first time in a long time, I want to live my life without feeling like I owe the world something for doing so.